


A Strange State of Nonexistence

by Dragons_and_Jellies



Series: Another S/I Works [3]
Category: Another - Ayatsuji Yukito
Genre: F/M, Idk this is real gay, M/M, OC/Canon, Self-Insert
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-17
Updated: 2019-01-19
Packaged: 2019-09-20 20:57:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17029896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dragons_and_Jellies/pseuds/Dragons_and_Jellies
Summary: Len Yamada tries to deal with being Not There with the help of his fellow nonexisters.





	1. How to find love when you don’t exist

**Author's Note:**

> Wow! More self insert trash???? You bet! Iknowhowtowritestuffthatisntanotheriswear

A soft sigh escaped his lips before he stood to exit the room. He stood at the line of windows in the hallway, hazel eyes lazily scanning the courtyard through the window. His head tilted slightly to the side when he heard someone approach. “Skipping class, huh?” He huffed out a quiet laugh. “So are you, Kouichi.” “Hey, who said you could call me by my first name?” “Mei told me to do it-to mess with you.” Kouichi Sakakibara heaved a dramatic sigh, comically flopping himself against the windows. The other rolled his eyes. Sakakibara quickly straightened his posture and cleared his throat. 

“So what’s up? You’ve been weird lately-is something bugging you?” The other boy-Len Yamada-grunted quietly in response. “I guess you could say that.” “Well what is it?” Len sighed, a hand moving to pick awkwardly at a stray thread on his uniform’s blazer. “I’m not sure if I want to tell you,” he responded softly. Sakakibara was almost shocked at the sincerity to the other’s statement. What could possibly be going on that he didn’t feel comfortable sharing? They told each other everything! Sakakibara stood up a bit straighter. “You know I won’t make fun of you, right? You can tell me anything.” Len averted his eyes for a moment before taking a deep breath. “It’s-it’s Teshigawara,” he said, voice quiet and restrained. Sakakibara’s eyebrows shot up. “Okay? What about him?” He hoped he didn’t sound as rude or upset as he thought he did. Len scrubbed lightly at his messy red hair. “I just-god I dunno! I like him way more than I should, and I-I know it’s stupid because I’m Not There and I don’t have any sort of chance but-“ “-Hey, hey hold on,” Sakakibara interrupted him loudly. “Calm down dude, freaking out won’t help anything!” Len nodded, a hand still tangled in his hair as his eyes darted around in worry. Sakakibara breathes in deeply, carefully considering his response. “Even though you’re Not There, there’s no rule about seeing your friends outside of school. Doing that shouldn’t mess anything up,” he started, carefully glancing over at his friend. Len was watching him intently, so he continued. “I say you just try to see him after school or something. Call him and let him know you want to hang out, it should work out,” he finished with a shrug and a smile. “O-okay. Thanks, Kouichi.” Sakakibara was about to respond when a girl appeared in between he and Len, completely out of nowhere. “I’m going to the roof, either of you want to join me?” Both boys started at Mei’s sudden appearance (oh god how long had she been listening?-) but quickly followed her up to the school’s roof. 

The outside air was chilly as the three walked out into the roof, the doors swinging shut behind them. Standing up against the fence lining the roof, cool wind ruffled the three nonexisters’ hair as they stood in silence. Mei was the first to speak. “So, Teshigawara?” Len’s face flushed lightly, and he looked pointedly down at the ground below. “um….yeah-“ “May I ask why?” Len looked up, seemingly caught off guard. “Why?” “Yes, why?” “H-hold on Mei, I think that might be a bit-“ “No, it’s fine.” Len’s haze shifted before he sighed in defeat. “I dunno he’s just-he’s really….cute? And upbeat. It’s nice to see someone like that in a place where everyone is so anxious,” he said, hands absently rubbing at his arms. Mei seemed to consider what her friend said, and nodded a moment later. “There isn’t a specific rule about nonexisters interacting with the rest of the class outside of school, but I still say you should be careful. Don’t blindly follow your feelings and get hurt.” Len nodded, eyes averting as his face grew darker from Mei’s odd scolding. Sakakibara fidgeted as well, his own face flushing at his friend’s reference to his previous advice. 

 

Another awkward silence fell over them. The muted sound of the bell signaling their dismissal rang from within the building, startling the three friends. Len looked at his companions awkwardly before pushing himself away from the railing. “I think-I think I’m gonna see if I can catch him now,” he said, fidgeting with the sleeves of his blazer. Sakakibara offered a tense smile. “I’d wait until he was off of school grounds,” Mei supplied helpfully. Sakakibara gave her a wide-eyed look of shock. “Mei! That’s stalking!” A small smirk graced Mei’s features. “Oh, come on Sakakibara-I’m sure Yamada knows better than to stalk his classmate.” Sakakibara looked back at the other boy, smiling reassuringly upon noticing how red he was in the face. He cleared his throat. “I-I mean-she’s right. Maybe call him once you get home?” He suggested with a shrug. Len nodded. “I uh, I guess I’ll head home then.” Sakakibara smiled and Mei nodded. As Len turned to walk back into the building, he heard Mei’s quiet voice whisper-“Good luck, loverboy,” followed quickly by a hushed scolding from Sakakibara. Len snorted softly, stifling his laughter as he entered the school building again.


	2. Contemplations of a Nonexister

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Len contemplates his options and the consequences.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is so short!!!! Oof

A few hours had passed since Len had arrived home. He lay across the armrest of his couch, cell phone hanging loosely in the overly sweaty palm of his hand. A shaking hand came up to push messy bangs from his freckled forehead before falling to lay over his abdomen. His friends’ advice rolled lazily through his head again, as if in slow motion. He had definitely intended to call Teshigawara as he’d been advised to, but the moment he’d arrived home, a thick wave of nervousness hit him like a train. 

The truth was, Len Yamada was not used to having feelings like this. Yes, he’d definitely had dumb crushes-on girls, on boys, but this was the first of its kind. He’d never felt so hopeless about his feelings for someone. He’d always felt as if he had at least a small, minuscule chance, but here, he felt completely hopeless. Here he felt as if there was no way in hell Teshigawara would return his feelings. 

With these thoughts in his head, it was difficult for Len to gather the courage to call the boy. Not only that, but he didn’t know if contacting his classmates outside of school would mess something up. He had no idea if it would make the talisman ineffective, if it was even effective at all. The truth was, there was no way to know other than to find out-but he really didn’t want to be the reason people ended up dying. And of course, his dad didn’t know about this-it wasn’t like he could go to his guardian for help or advice. No, he’d have to make this decision himself, and just pray he made the right one. And so, with a deep sigh and a tug to his heart, Len shut off his phone and tossed it onto the floor beside the couch.


	3. Hazel eyes, full of love in the Dawn of Yomi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mei Misaki gets an unexpected-yet welcome-visitor, and is forced to confront her feelings head on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact I love Mei. A lot

The sound of the gallery door opening was a startling, yet not unwelcome sound. It was a sound that snapped Mei out of her thoughts, that piqued her curiosity. Would it be Sakakibara, or yamada? She'd surely find out in just a moments time, and she did. Soft footsteps alerted her to the presence of her redheaded friend behind her. A small smile came to her face. So it was Yamada. The boy approached her silently, before coming to stand beside her. The coffin that held a doll that looked nearly identical to her lay before them. "May i ask exactly what you're doing here?" Mei's voice seemed to snap Len out of whatever thoughts he was having. "I um-just wanted to see you," the boy said, fidgeting awkwardly with his hands. Mei hummed softly in response, "Is that so?" Her response seemed to render Len speechless, but when she looked over, she saw a warm pink tint to his cheeks. This made her feel....strange. What was that? Why was he blushing, talking to her? "Y-yeah. I just-just wanted to see you, Mei." Now, it was her turn to be rendered speechless. The stuttering, the blush on his cheeks, the use of her first name-oh no. That feeling started to well within her. Now, she wasn't unfamiliar with it, exactly. Mei just had a special hatred for the feeling. She'd first felt it around Sakakibara, and now Len? No, when had she started calling him by his first name? Mei felt her own face go warm, and for once, felt strange in the silence between her and another person. She desperately hoped that he couldn't see the warmth on her face-no she knew he couldn't. or was she just trying to reassure herself?

Mei felt frustrated. feelings, what use do they even have? Inconvenient, that's what they are.

Len must have noticed her struggle, because he glanced at her awkwardly before breaking the silence. "Mei, are you alright?" It was a simple question, so why did it have butterflies fluttering within her? "I'm fine." Was her simple response. "Have you spoken to Teshigawara?" Len's face went darker at the mention of the bleached boy. "N-Not yet, I uh-got nervous," he replied, looking mildly dejected. Mei hated the way her heart hurt, seeing him like this. "I see. It makes sense to be nervous, especially when your speaking to him could ruin everything." Len's face fell. Mei hadn't meant to be so blunt, she really hadn't-but that's just how she saw it. Her heart tugged again, seeing the dejected look on her friend's face. Oh no. The silence was awkward again, she had to say something-she had to-"Have I ever shown you what's behind this eyepatch?"

Mei knew she hadn't. In the three years she knew Len, she had never shown him her doll's eye. 

Len looked over at Mei with wide eyes. Those wide, hazel eyes that held so much emotion. Truthfully, Mei had said what she said because she didn't want Len to feel awkward and leave. It was still early in the day, and she didn't want to be alone, although she'd never admit it. She turned to look at Len, who shook his head from side to side. "You-you don't have to, Mei-" "I know. I want to." And with that, Mei Misaki slowly untied the strings that held her eyepatch in place. She pulled the patch away from her eye with similar sluggishness....and the moment it was off, she noticed something. Something that made her chest seize painfully. Len, her friend, her and Sakakibara's fellow nonexister-he was covered in it. The Color. Mei forced her face into its usual calm, unaffected expression. Len's hazel eyes were wide and full of wonder.(The Color) One of his hands moved to hover over Mei's cheek. A finger bushed her skin.(Deathly Cold) The gallery basement of Blue Eyes Empty to All In the Twilight Of Yomi had never felt so cold.(Dead. He's Dead) 

The thoughts were swirling in her head, desperately trying to connect the dots. (An older brother in class 3. Car crash, a funeral, two dead, three dead, him dead.) 

It all led back to the horrible truth. Len Yamada was the casualty. The Extra. He had likely died in the same car crash that took his brother and mother. (Dead, dead, its him he's dead he's the extra its him-) 

That agonizing truth is what made her hastily return her eyepatch to its normal place, and internally swear to never remove it again.


End file.
